1) Sharks have no internal organs, just more teeth.
2) Since Shark Week took off, all sharks are SUPER rich.
3) Spring Break is like shark Christmas.
4) Sharks are personally offended by water shoes because they are stupid. If you go into the ocean wearing water shoes, you are pretty much asking to have your feet ripped off.
5) Since sharks have no necks, they can't look back. As such they have no regrets, never think of the past, and if you grab onto their tails you can pretty much ride hitch a ride to wherever without them noticing.
6) The sharks vs seals rivalry started when some smartass seals decided to play ring toss with a passing shark fin, which as you may imagine is deeply insulting. Especially since the seals were REALLY bad at it and if there's one thing that sharks, as 100% perfect badass underwater killing machines, cannot tolerate, it's mediocrity.
7) In their dreams, sharks are fighter pilots.